i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
