something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
