Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
