Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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