so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
