Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
