i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
