can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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