yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
This toilet bowl is my home.
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