if i can run in heels then i can drive
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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