i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
