she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
