whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
