The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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