You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
