she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
