I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Randomize
