Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Help me help you realize you are a moron
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
