What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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