I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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