There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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