I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
People with herpes should wear stickers.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
