marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
