I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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