She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
she told me i tasted like america
is this the sara with the beer cane?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
