Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
