woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
