Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
i out mim tonsoeep
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