just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize