FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
