I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
