I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
