His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
