I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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