Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
