I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
