I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
