i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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