I look better un-naked...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Someone signed my nipple.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
