where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
