Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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