Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
