so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
