maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
