saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
No stitches, just platelets and will power
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
