i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
