My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
