Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
