that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
