Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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