I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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