69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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