thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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