i just made my gag reflex go away.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
