so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
