Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
