I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
