I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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