I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
