To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Brb crying the tears of my youth
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
