i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
